The new year brings with it a promise of new possibilities, and fresh starts. Often times what accompanies the new year is a sense of urgency to complete new goals, adventure to new places, and change. This New Year, we can frame it as not a “New Year’s resolution”, but instead a New Year reset. Reframing our approach to a new year, helps us to replace busyness with intention through soft discipline and gentleness.
This approach to a calm reset helps us to look at small changes that make a big impact instead of attempting to hammer away at 12 months worth of goals and aspirations. The only thing worse than not having goals at all is having too many with too much expectation to crush them all. You’re only one person. And denying yourself room to ease into these new shifts will only leave you with disappointment and burnout.
This post will guide you through your new year reset with practical mindsets shifts, and gentle routines that will help create habits that make your goals feel inevitable.
A Gentle New Year Reset
Understanding the Softer Kind of Discipline
Having a strong sense of discipline is what carries us through the tough days, the rough days and everything in between. It’s putting the things you want most above the things you want at the moment. It’s saying no to certain things so that you can say yes to all of the things that truly matter to you.
However, in honoring ourselves we must also understand when we’re pouring from an empty cup. For example, each morning the flower pot you keep nearby to nourish and feed your flowers indoors is meant to do just that. Each morning without much thought you depend on that pot to do what it’s designed to do, however eventually it will no longer be able do the very thing you expect it to. Why? Because it’s empty. Now your pot is the one in need. Instead of blaming your lovely flower pot, and kicking it down the stairs, you recognize and understand what it needs. Before it can be of service of do what it sets out to do, it first needs a moment to refill itself. That is called grace.
We so often are like this flower pot, instead we sometimes are much more likely to be harsher on ourselves. This leads to burnout because we are pushing ourselves to show up for the sake of showing up with nothing more to give. Soft discipline is acknowledging your needs and reassessing your plans. It’s not making excuses, or throwing in the towel all together, but having self-compassion to take a moment to give yourself you may need. Trading in guilt for compassion, and extreme perseverance for rest.
This year as we plan our new year reset, it’s about prioritizing rest and stillness just as much as the action plan.
Mindset Shifts for a Gentle Reset
The first step to crafting your new year reset is to shift your mindset. Understanding how much of a vital role our thoughts and perspective plays in every moment of our lives is a vital part of change in any area of our lives.
Growth v. Fixed Mindset
Growth and fixed mindsets are mindsets that shape how we approach everything. A fixed mindset is exactly how it sounds, fixed. A fixed mindset is the belief that “this is the way I’ve always been and I’m never going to change”, or “I was just born this way”. Whether discusses a skill or a weakness, a fixed mindset can be spotted in the belief that where things are are permanent and that’s just how they’ll always be. A growth mindset looks at situations, skills, habits and says “I’m not so great at that, but I bet there are tools out there that can help me improve” or “I’ve never done this before, but I’m excited to try because I know there is growth at the end of it”. The first step is understanding where we fall. Once we understand that. You may exhibit signs of a growth mindset in some areas, but a fixed mindset in other. No matter what, I have great news for you – you don’t have to stay there. And it’s never too late to change. Even accepting and believing that thought right there is a growth mindset!
Next, you have to let go of perfectionism. It’s been said that we often focus on doing things perfectly to avoid doing them at all out of fear of failure. But here’s another piece of good news, doing something, is far better than doing nothing at all. Remember this the next time you remember the recipe you never picked up that you were eager to try, or the dance class that you loved.
Lastly, whatever plans you have for this next year whether it’s places you’ll go, people you’ll meet, or things you’ll accomplish, focus on the feelings you feel when you think of these things. Write these feelings down, and come back to them often. So on the days where motivation isn’t coming through for you that day, the feeling that these goals bring will carry you to see it through for yourself.
An Attainable 3-Step Guide:
Step 1: Write down every goal (even if it starts as a brain dump)
- Get clear about what it is that you want. Focus on area by area in your life such as relationships, finances, health and draw up your goals for each.
Step 2: Turn these into actionable SMART goals
- Turning your goals into specific actionable steps is what takes them from being hopeful goals, to achievable goals simply by getting clear about the actions you need to take to get there.
Step 3: For every action pair it with a habit that you already do every day
- Finding way to fit these new actions into your day seamlessly make these new habits harder to do than not to do. Like your morning commute could mean the last 5 minutes you reach out to a friend ensuring you’ve reached out to someone you love every day. Day by day making your goals inevitable.
Rituals and Practices for a Soft New Year Reset
Set-up non-negotiable rituals.. These rituals are designed to invite moments of peace in rest in every day outside of goals. These rituals are designed to curate moments where you aren’t doing, but just being. Here are some to start:
- Morning Minutes – journaling, prayer time, or just sitting in silence
- 10-30 minute outdoor walk – 10 minutes boosts your mood. 30 minutes reduces feelings of depression.
- Digital-free Morning
- Sunday Reflections
Tips for Grounded Soft Discipline:
- Consistency, not perfection
- Break big goals into small, manageable steps
- Celebrate the tiny wins
- Shift your internal narrative from negative to encouraging
Reflection
Getting clear about understanding yourself. A part of that is being honest about what works and what doesn’t. These checking help you to readjust and realign where you see fit.
Set aside time whether daily, weekly or monthly to get real honest with yourself. Journaling is a great way to do this, as once you start committing thoughts to paper it will just flow and you’ll begin to really ponder. You can start with questions like –
- What about this week brought me the most joy?
- What feels heavy that I’ve been carrying?
- If I was an audience member watching my life play out on screen, what would I be yelling at myself to do, change, or quit?
- Where can I add more gentleness without sacrifice?
- Looking at everything I’ve done today, or this week – does every action contribute to the woman I have envisioned for myself?
- What activities have held the most surprising pockets of joy for me?
These questions go beyond surface level observations, but digs deeper causing further exploration of the hows and the whys.
Intentional living should not feel like sacrifice. In fact, it should feel like the exact opposite. Making a conscious decision to figure out exactly who you want to be, and then taking the steps to curate that life is the ultimate form of respect and self-love. Gently putting down the fillers of life, and instead picking up tiny habits and moments that support your dream. You have the power to do this at any moment, and what better time to start than now? Because your future self is waiting for you.
